Since having a wedding opens you up to unsolicited advice from strangers, let me add my two cents: you need to hire Mary Carlson. We hired Mary to plan and design our 200-person wedding in my hometown of Duluth. Though we lived on the East Coast, we wanted to put together a weekend that would be memorable because of the tiny, thoughtful details and personal touches for people who would be traveling from as far away as Alaska and rural Oklahoma. Mary managed our ideas impeccably. She held our hands as we figured out a design plan (ask Mary about her genius, money-saving tip on floral arrangements) and navigated touchy family issues that came out of nowhere (Mary had seen it all.) She came up with a stunning reception design plan for Pier B that complied with the bizarre parameters we invented for her (Kate Spade meets military proper but absolutely no pinks/reds, and to hell with burlap/mason jars). She edited my ideas—god knows how much stress I would have put on myself and my family if I didn’t have Mary talking me down. How much did she roll up her sleeves? You guys, Mary drove to my parents’ house and told us how many stripes wide our cupcake table runner fabric should be cut. I can think of so many examples that show her design skills and her knowledge of how to properly plan out the timing of the day. We said “Mary is a genius” so much during planning. The bottom line: it’s so much easier it is to confidently make decisions on the hundreds of small issues an outsider to the wedding industry could never imagine when you have Mary on the phone for guidance. Her execution of our ideas on wedding day was just as impressive. It’s hard for me to trust people I don’t know well, and for a wedding, you have to hire all these strangers and hope they show up/do their jobs so that you can be the effortless bride who society expects to be fully present at her wedding, despite that you’re simultaneously hosting the biggest party of your life (and the unspoken truth about a wedding is that it’s ALL about your guests of all preferences having a good time, right?) It’s a really hard charge. At every turn, Mary demonstrated that I could trust her with everything that day. Even though we had more than a year of built-up trust, I’m going to confess a very Type A thing that I did minutes before the wedding started. As I left my hotel room, I turned to Mary and asked if I could review a couple things. Of course, she said. I fired off a list: did the toiletry bin get into the bathroom? Did the last minute couple who needed a child’s meal get transferred to Table 8? Did the champagne glasses get onto our sweetheart table? What about the personalized gifts for special guests? Basically, I was a monster and checked ALL of her homework. And one by one, she answered yes to everything. It was COMPLETELY taken care of. And all of a sudden, I felt like it was time to get married and enjoy the party. I was in good hands. Post wedding: we have heard nothing but praise for how the day went. The family matriarch said it was the best wedding she ever attended, and some friends said they were energized by love for days afterwards. So many people said it was a thoughtful day—Mary was behind so much of this. I’m not sure I can ever commensurately thank her. If you are still on the fence, know that the decision to hire Mary will mean you’ve got help in making the hundreds of stupider ones that are coming down the pipeline. You will not regret this one.
